Three – The story begins

Where do I start with Three, the worst* UK mobile phone network with the worst customer services?

*in my opinion

I could launch into what a complete shower of trash this company are and rant and rave until I foam at the mouth, or I could just tell the story in a nice civilised fashion.

No I am going to foam at the mouth and tell it like it is.

Three Mobile

Balls-Up #1 – Getting a New Mobile Phone on the Three network

April 2005 – I decided to get a new phone, so I went back to the Car Phone Warehouse where I had previously brought phones for my partner and I. I was after something up to date and modern, so I ended up with a Nokia 6630, this was a phone that had full web access, or so I was told at the time.

So there I am waiting my new phone to arrive, which it duly did only for it to be buggered (a great start), so I called Car Phone Warehouse who promptly sent me out another phone – Little did I realise that in 18 months the faulty phone would come back and bite me so hard in the arse that I would not screaming with pain.

Balls-Up #2 – Mobile Phone Internet Access on the Three network

In December 05, I wanted to use a new piece of software that allowed me to look after all my servers from my Nokia Mobile Phone, however after hours of setting up the software on the server and the mobile phone and testing I was left deflated.

I had techies from Canada full-time on the case trying to analyse what the problem was.
At that stage I tried another Nokia phone albeit using Vodafone – Hurrah, it all worked, so what the heck was going on, I had to get to the root of the problem, I had to call Three.

It was only after making a call to India (Three’s call centre) that I discovered that it was not indeed the software that was buggered on my Nokia 6630; My phone was not web-enabled, well that’s funny I’m sure that I purchased a web-ready mobile phone!

I was reliably informed by the call centre operative that if wanted to have full web-browse facility then I would have to pay for it.

Against my better judgement, I upgraded the phones capability.

Excitedly I waited 24 hours for the upgrade to go through and tried my new server administration kit on my Three phone – Did it work, did it heck as like.

OK, lets make another call to the sub-continent and see which non-caring person I would get on the ends of the phone on this occasion. So why I asked, would my mobile phone not allow me to get though to the server, the answer was due to the useless way in which Three allowed Web Coverage. At this time Three only allowed me access to sites of their choice!

What was the point of that? Surfing the net means choice, not shackles!

It was at that stage that I demanded a refund from Three on such a shocking service.

Balls-Up #3 – New Mobile Phone

When my original contract of 18 months was coming to a conclusion I started looking for a new phone, being the tight-wad that I am, I was on the look-out for the best deal. Looking through the national papers I saw the advert for Dial-A-Phone who were offering some fantastic freebies, I was sorely tempted with a FREE XBOX360 with Dial-A-Phone as the contract price that I had was the same as what I had paid for the previous 18 months.

However, I had received various calls from Three with regards my contract and thought that if I could better my deal, gain a new phone and get a reduced cost then this would surely be best!

Well my new phone arrived in late September, so there I am thinking that I am awash with cash and Three have not completed their part of the bargain, my bill remained at the same price, so where was my half-price deal?

Another phone-call to India and I am promised that my account will be reduced for the next month, long-story short, the account was still not reduced when I next received a statement and thus I had to make another call to Three. For a company that was desperate to keep my business, they sure as hell do not give a damn once they have secured that business.

It was only when I made another call to India and get shirty with the call-centre operator that I finally got my bill reduced – Well done Three, it only took you three months to listen!

Balls-Up#4 – The Big One, Three steal money and don’t give a damn!

December 4th 2006

I am studying my bank records when I discover the fact that Three have been charging me for the faulty mobile phone that was sent back. At this stage I calculated that I overpaid Three to the tune of £630. Well you can imagine how shocked I was with this.

So once again I rang my friends at the Three call-centre. The first operative that I spoke to seemed genuinely to be quite helpful, I explained the situation and informed him that I wanted the money that had been erroneously taken from my account refunded. At this stage the operative put my through to another department. The department might well have been called the ‘We don’t give a shit department’ because quite frankly the guy on the end of the phone didn’t give a shit.

Here’s the really funny part.

  1. I was told that I had to give Three thirty days notice to cancel a contract that I had never used or was aware that I had!
  2. I asked for written confirmation that they would indeed cancel the contract, I was told this was not procedure and was rudely told this would not happen
  3. I asked for a breakdown of the account, I was told that I would have to pay for this, even though Three had stolen over £600 from me.
  4. I asked for a refund, I was told to go to Carphone Warehouse
  5. I asked for the operatives name, at first he would not let me have it!
  6. I asked to speak to someone of more authority; he would not pass me through! According to the operative, he was the highest person in the Three organisation! No wonder they are so terrible!
  7. I asked the operative to confirm how many times I had made calls or received calls on this phone in the 18 months I was alleged to have it my possession. – The operative reliably informed me that I had never received nor made any calls from it! Yet he still insisted that I was liable for a phone that did not exist.

So, it’s 11:30pm on a Monday night, my mobile phone network operator has told me to Foxtrot Oscar, so I tried to call Carphone Warehouse, there was no-one there, then I tried to call my bank in order to stop the direct-debit going through on an account I had no idea I was getting charged on, telephone banking was shut.

So now I had to go through the next 6 hours seething and trying to work out how on earth I was going to get my money back, to say that I did not get much sleep that night was an understatement.

Tuesday, 5th December.
First things first, I contacted my bank. The first operative was helpful, I explained the situation and she duly cancelled the erroneous direct-debit for £35. As I had explained the situation to her, she kindly went away to speak to a colleague in their indemnity department. She explained that if this department could help she would patch me through. A few minutes later she returned and informed me she was indeed going to patch me through.

When I spoke to the indemnity team I answered a few simple questions, moments later, the operative informed me that he was going to refund the money that Three had taken back into my account as he could see the error that had occurred. From what he told me, it was not the first time that he had come up against Three in this kind of instance. I doubt it will be the last.

Following the action of Barclays Bank, I called three back and asked to speak to the operative who was so uncaring about my case, he was not available so I asked for the operative to call me back, and to this day I am still waiting for his call! That really sums up Three!

So surely that is the end of the story – You’d think

December 29th 2006
Now Three have sent me a bill for £630 and have still yet to cancel the phone contract that I have never had. The fact that they have seemingly not cancelled the contract goes to further highlight what an absolute shower of shit they really are.

To be honest I am unsure as to my next move. There is no point calling their call-centre in India as they are puppets who are working to a script that says Sod Off English customer.

I think Three have a deliberate policy that is designed to wind-up people so that they give-up.

Well Three, I have news for your shite operation. I am not going to give-up, I am going to wipe the floor with your stinking festering mess of a company and I can assure you that if this case needs to go to court than it damn well will.
At this stage I do not know who to blame, is it Carphone Warehouse or is it Three or is it me? Who do you think is in the wrong?