The wrong day to take viagra
I was not sure if I was going to share this one or not; in retrospect it is/was vaguely amusing.
No need to introduce Viagra, it’s the little blue pill that has changed many a crippled cocks life. So do I need Viagra, do I fuck, but it doesn’t stop a certain amount of intrigue. It was the intrigue that got the better of me.
The thing I had to work out was whether I was going to tell the other half that
- I had some Viagra
- I had taken some Viagra and for us get on the case
- Be romantic (for a few moments) and then kick her back doors clean in
- Don’t say a god damn word
I went with option 4, which was swallow the fucker and don’t say a god damn word.
Here was the problem with the swallowing of the pill, an oversight you might say and it only dawned some 20 minutes after knocking it back!
My other half gets some really awful mouth ulcers and at this time she had three of the buggers with one of them being on her tongue! OK, so I had dropped a bollock here. When she gets her mouth ulcers she is not exactly a barrel of laughs, let alone in the mood for some rampant fucker in a wheelchair who wanted to bum her furiosly.
This was a huge fuck-up on my part, but then the old blue pill might not have the magic that it is supposed too.
As she was out when I took the pill, I was thinking that any alcohol she may consume would indeed dampen the pain of the mouth ulcers and that she would indeed be up for some fun when she returned!
So there I am, waiting for the old bint to come home, knowing my chances of success were minimal to say the least. And that is where the fun started. Something didn’t feel right, for one I was aroused by a picture of Lorraine Kelly and two my body was starting to get some serious spasms. Now let me tell you spasms for someone who has suffered from a high level back break or low level neck break can by quite violent, for me, mixed with Viagra they simply went off the radar.
What they didn’t explain at the spinal unit is that if you mix in Viagra to someone who suffers from high leels of spasm, you may see a reaction and boy did I see a reaction! When my other half eventually rolled home, I was in bed, and no I was not asleep, nor was I sitting there with a stiffy from heaven.
Oh no, I had taken a reaction to the tablet my legs had gone into spasm and did not want to stop. Imagine her face (for those that know her) to come into the bedroom and find my legs acting as if they were running a frikkin marathon!
As my legs were seriously on the verge of uncontrollable she was rightly concerned, so now I was wondering whether to tell her the truth or make up some cock and bull. Option B it was, and until now she still believes that night I had fallen out of my wheelchair and had strained myself getting back into my wheelchair. Alright, so the excuse was flimsy, but she bought it. However, due to my legs not showing any sign of stopping she decided to sleep in the spare bedroom. I had to endure a few good hours of my legs shaking like pins were being placed in them.
All I can say is that I am extremely pleased that I do not have to rely on Viagra to get a stiffy otherwise I would be fucked in more ways than one!
What a plank - one blue pill swallowed, one girlfriend with mouth ulcers, a night of no sleep and no passion! It was the wrong day to take Viagra. I won’t be doing that again!
Written by MrCrip on June 15th, 2007 with
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#1. February 23rd, 2008, at 10:41 PM.
LMFAO fuckin retard !