The Benefits of Being Bald
Lets be honest, nobody really wants to lose their hair. But if you are a woman then the trauma of hair loss can be extremely hard to bear. Look at Gail Porter. Once a horny, shaggable blonde babe she quickly became a slap-head alien-looking freak thanks to Alopecia. Not good!
But lets not look at the downside of being a baldielocks, lets celebrate the benefits of being bald:
1) No more visits to the hair-stylists or barbers. This has got to be top of the list. No more strained, nonsense conversations with some teenage half-wit about where you might be going on holiday and no more exorbitant hairdresser’s charges. If you don’t have alopecia and you are not going bald naturally why not invest in a set of clippers. They’ll cost you about the same as one visit to the barbers so you’ll make the cost back almost immediately.
2) No more hair-brushing. If you have long hair you will know what a chore this can be. Being a slap-head means you can throw your fancy hair styling brushes in the bin (or donate them to a crusty) cos you won’t be needing them any more. And if you are one of those skanky, dreadlocked crusty types I’d recommend soaking your locks in petrol and igniting them with a match!
3) No more need for fancy Paul Mitchell shampoos and conditioners. Having a nice shiny ‘chrome dome’ means that you would do better to invest in a couple of cans of car wax to water-proof your head. You’ll never need those fancy shampoos ever again.
4) No more smells of burning hair as you can bin those GHD hair straighteners. Essential for that flat, straight Jennifer Aniston look, hair straighteners are of no use to the baldy helmet-head. Better off getting a nice chamois leather cloth to buff your baldy bonce to a high sheen!
So if you were feeling despondent due to the ravages of Alopecia or pattern baldness don’t be. As you can see there are significant benefits in having a head like Kojak, even if no one wants to shag you!
Written by Dr_Bob on February 13th, 2008 with
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#1. February 14th, 2008, at 12:30 AM.
You’re too hard on poor Gail, all she needs is a good wig. I bet if she knocked on your door (with appropriate and tasteful head attire) you wouldn’t turn her away. I wouldn’t.