How To Get Out Of Jockland
Land of the shining river, Land of my heart forever, Scotland the brave! You need to be bloody brave to live there!
Sweaty socks, or Jocks, are some of the unhealthiest people in Europe. They smoke too many fags, eat too much haggis and deep fried mars bars (giving them coronary heart disease and strokes), they are all off their heads on drugs and booze and most Jocks are suffering from some form of mental dysfunction and can’t read. Why would anyone want to live there?
The only things that Scotland has going for it are the roads into England and the numerous airports. There can’t be many English city streets that don’t have their resident, pissed, homeless Jock, belligerantly badgering passers by for spare change with an accent that makes them completely unintelligible. So its not surprising that civilised English people (like me) have the impression that all Jocks are blue-skinned piss-heads, like Rab C. Nesbit, wasting good oxygen!
But I don’t want them to be taking the high road, nor the low road, into England. Oh No! I’d like to see them take full advantage of the fantastic air transport facilities available from airports like Prestwick, Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Glasgow. I am reliably informed that airlines servicing Jockland are fully equipped with large quantities of super-strength lager and sun-block that will help the Jocks maintain their unhealthy pale blue appearance.
It’s fair to say that Scotland is a shithole, populated by lazy, uneducated, ugly shitheads, and I haven’t even mentioned the fat, minging, toothless hags who are allegedly female. My advice to any Jocks (who may have had this read to them) is to go and rob the nearest all night garage and get yourself a flight to somewhere sunny. Take some elocution lessons, get some fake tan and tell everyone that your are from Denmark or Iceland!
Cool Tune: I Hate Scotland by Ballboy
Written by Dr_Bob on March 7th, 2008 with
11 comments.
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azimov
Schizoid Mark
#1. March 7th, 2008, at 10:49 PM.
First the Welsh and now the Scots! Have you gone completely mad? The English are just a fucking knuckle-dragging, miserable mongrel race. Did you know that the England is geographically incorrect? It’s ABOVE sea level!
I am Welsh and proud of it. At least we have a right to be here. We were here before you aresoles born of Roman, Saxon, Dane, Viking, French and Asian mixed up cretins were.
At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that it takes Scotsmen and Welshmen in the Government to to keep you lot on track, because you seem to be incapable of governing yourselves.