Her Majesty the Queen’s Turds on Ebay?
Last week, just by chance, I ran into an old workmate who I hadn’t seen for many years. Our paths crossed at a nearby van leasing firm where I’d gone to sort out a new van, he was there to arrange for his van lease to be extended. Back in the 1980s we’d both served together on Texaco tankers visiting all manner of ports in the Persian Gulf, West Africa, various islands in the Caribbean and Central America. These days we both have small businesses to run and families to support but fondly remember our seafaring days, the characters we’d worked alongside and the adventures that we had shared.
We stopped into a nearby pub to have a drink and catch up with our news. It was during this conversation that my friend, Kevin, reminded me that before joining the Merchant Navy he had served in the Royal Navy. He’d worked as a steward on a variety of naval vessels including the aircraft carrier Ark Royal towards the end of her life in the 1970s. Both my brother and father served in the Royal navy so I was enthralled to hear his stories of life in the service.
I was particularly interested to hear that he had served on-board the Royal Yacht Britannia and had met most of the Royal Family and many of the most famous people in the world. He proceeded to tell a few tales of the drunken exploits of one or two notable Royals, mostly high spirited tomfoolery. He then went on to tell me the following tale originating from the crew’s quarters.
When he joined the Royal Yacht my mate had been told of the existence of a particular item that was kept securely hidden away somewhere in the crew’s mess. At some time in the past an enterprising member of the ship’s crew had reportedly captured one of Her Majesty the Queen’s turds, dried it, given it a coat of varnish and mounted it for presentation. It was suitably labelled and identified by means of a coat of arms and an embossed brass plaque. Apparently Prince Philip knew of it’s existence and found it highly amusing!
This story is actually quite well known but many people think it is an urban legend. My old friend Kevin assures me that it is absolutely true and that he has heard of other items of Royal waste that had been intercepted by members of the ship’s crew and kept as souvenirs. We found ourselves speculating as to whether we might hear of the Queens turds coming up for auction on ebay with certificates of authenticity and a royal seal of approval. I wonder how much?
BTW - Here’s another blog in which this particular Royal Turd comes in for a mention: Queens Turd on the Royal Yacht
Written by Dr_Bob on November 27th, 2007 with
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Celebrity Bullshit and Royal Family.
Alex
Steve
Ted
#1. November 27th, 2007, at 4:05 PM.
Considering the fact the Royal Family are all turds this story does not surprise me.
Is there a bigger bunch of shits creaming Tax-Payers cash and getting “wined and dined” at countless charity bashes whilst patting the odd dribbling cripple on the head?
I’ll pay £20 for the turd, but only if Camilla Parker Bowles eats it!