Going Skiing? Break a Leg!
Skiing and travel insurance go hand in hand like fat women and cake, and you would expect anyone with half a brain to take it out, especially when doing something as dangerous as throwing themselves down a mountain, right? Wrong.
A quarter of Brits hit the slopes without Ski travel insurance, research from Ensure has shown. 5% of uninsured believe their E111 will provide medical cover whilst skiing. 27% believe annual travel insurance policies will cover them for skiing injuries and 20% would undertake dangerous winter sports knowing they were not covered in their insurance policies. One word, muppets.
Do they not realise treatment can cost thousands of pounds when taking into account they may require mountain rescue involving helicopters and repatriation costs?
So what is the potential for injury? This depends on a few factors. The equipment you use does come into question, but most of the time, an injury will be the result of you acting like a total spaz. Particularly spazzy people may want to steer clear of skiboarding as the bindings do not release automatically, and for this reason you are pretty much guaranteed to end up with broken legs, hands and (if you were foolish enough not to take out a ski insurance policy) hopefully a shoulder.
Well, broken legs are the most likely occurrence, with 70% of skiing injuries being to lower limbs. You may get to wear some cool external scaffolding on it for a few months, get tons of sympathy from lovely young ladies and a sexy nurse to aid your recovery. Then again, the scaffolding will probably freeze your bones to the core in the cold weather, the young ladies will be totally grossed out and your nurse will likely be a 50 year old 40-a-day smoker with halitosis called Noreen.
Of course, the danger doesn’t end with broken limbs; there is always the risk of avalanche. You may just get your spazzy arse covered in snow, and then what are you going to do? They say when being covered, you should flail around to create an air pocket. This will allow you room to dig out. Trouble is, which way is out? You will be disorientated and may end up digging deeper into the snow.
Well, we have an answer. Simply spit. Gravity will pull this toward earth and you will then know which way is down. Be warned though, if you are facing up, you will likely get a big wad of gob running down your chops, nice!
Well just think, after you have broken your legs in multiple places, fractured your wrists, dislocated your shoulder and spat all over your face, the rescuers will come (hopefully in time) and after you have been drooled all over by the St. Bernard rescue dog, at least you get to go for a ride in a helicopter.
Also, whilst the recovery period will be extremely long and painful, you will get this time off work an extra bonus added in there.
So the moral of the story, if you are off on a skiing trip, before you break your leg and other extremities making a twat of yourself falling down a mountain, make sure you take out ski insurance before you leave.
Written by PuppyDeath on November 15th, 2007 with
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#2. November 15th, 2007, at 2:48 PM.
Skiing is for public schoolboys and toffs. Darts is the winter sport for real men!