Carrier Bag Madness
My home has been taken over; my home has been possessed!
By what you may ask?
Aliens? Immigrants? A bird? The birds mother? Answer - NO
My home has been taken over by carrier bags; yes you read correctly - flipping carrier bags!
The scourge of the planet is apparently hiding my house - every nook and cranny is stuffed full of carrier bags! I went to put something away last night (it doesn’t happen often) and to my total shock I discovered that MrsCrip has been hoarding carrier bags like they are going out of fashion.
I quizzed the bint on why there were so many carrier bags in the house and more importantly why the hell could I not put my stuff away?
I have got one word to describe MrsCrip for this strange stash - MUPPET! Woman, why are you storing all of these carrier bags? It’s fair to say the stupid slut could not give me a valid reason for this strange behaviour.
I’m telling you if the Guinness Book of Records come to Crip Towers we’ll be knocking on the door of a record, alternatively if Greenpeace come round they will have me up for crimes against the planet!
Personally, I cannot see the fuss about carrier bags is, after all, once a bloke gets married we all get a ‘bag for life’ in the shape of the ‘Mother in Law’
Because we have so many bags, I thought it best to take a few pictures of what was lurking in my home. Here’s the thing, these are not ordinary carrier bags; these are all posh bags that are usually accompanied by expensive shopping - it’s no wonder the silly bint is in debt are to her arse! By the evidence of what I have seen it looks like she has purchased half of Bluewater!
Here’s a question though. If carrier bags are so bad for the planet, why are shops still using them?
Why do shops not state they will not supply carrier bags and that storage of shopping is the customers responsibility! No carrier bag, no sale!
It’s so easy, If other households have the same numbers of carrier bags that we have at Crip Towers, there must be hundreds of millions tucked away throughout the UK.
As I am somewhat of an eco-warrior, I thought it best I get the garden incinerator going and burn the lot!
The old bint was moaning her fanny off about having no storage space, it’s no wonder, there are (were) hundreds of bloody carrier bags filling all the space.
Join MrCrip in the killing of carrier bags; find them and burn them all!
Here is a small part of the collection I found:
Nicky Clarke Bag - Who buys Nicky Clarke products any more? It’s no wonder MrsCrip’s hair always looks so shit if she’s using Nicky Clarke products!
Purple Gift Bag - Well I know I have not bought a gift for the other half, so the question that needs to be asked is this - who’s sniffing round MrsCrip?
Lotus Shoes - Who the hell are Lotus Shoes?
Elle - Celebrity shit, she knows I detest the whole celebrity thing, I’d kill every so-called celeb there is, they are a fecking menace!
Written by MrCrip on November 26th, 2007 with
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