Acomplia sparks suicidal tendencies in Americans
Last month I picked on the fat people of the UK and stated that all of the UK’s heffers should get themselves using the Slimming Pill, Acomplia.
Interestingly I have just seen on CNN the FDA (Federal Drug Administration) is likely to not allow Acomplia to enter the American market because one of the side effects for users is it can make people suicidal.
Now I have a number of theories on this.
- One the US government wants the fat bastards of America to carry on supporting the economy through their gross eating habits
- Americans want to be fat
- The US government wants the rest of world to die as its people continue their policy of becoming obese
- Acomplia is made by a European company and hence they do not want this company to be successful
Now, I see these side effects as a potential benefit to fat people. Imagine the scenario, you have been taking Acomplia and its not working. You get on the scales and you see you have not lost any weight. You look in the mirror, you can see that you have not lost any weight. This is where the suicidal side effects of Acomplia kick-in. Mr or Mrs or Miss Fat Person might feel the need to top themsleves.
This would have the desired effect, as you certainly do lose weight when you are dead. In my sick, warped way of thinking this makes the whole Acomplia thing a complete success, here’s why:-
- Through increasd suicide we are starting to rid the world of the excess population
- Children who are starving in 3rd world countries may get food as all the fat bastard Americans will be dead and not eating the planet
- Global warming reduces as all the dead American lard arses can no longer fill the atmosphere with their methane
I don’t get how anyone could live with theselves if they were as fat as the two porkers in the image above. In fact I think these fat lard arses are disgusting.
So you fat bastard Americans, here’s what I suggest you do. If you are very nice to me, then I will send Acomplia to you, I know exactly where you can buy Acomplia. Seriously you Americans have to be the most self indulgent nation of freaks there are on this planet, which is exactly the reason why I couldn’t give a monkeys fuck if your obese citizens all topped themselves.
