25 Reasons Not To Buy Designer Clothing
I have a real problem with designer clothing, it’s just so incredibly pointless. Most of the time, it looks pretty terrible, and every meatsword swallowing teenager thinks its cool to have her squirrel covers dropping below the line of her ridiculously short skirt that she paid ?300 quid for because Dior told her to.
A nice pair of shoulder boulders will go much further along the road to winning my heart than some ponsey top that leaves me bashing the bishop rather than enjoying a well oiled axe wound.
So without further a do, here are 25 reasons NOT to buy designer clothing
1. Chavs wear designer tracksuits.
2. Burberry is ugliest thing since Pete Burns.
3. Spending ?600 on sunglasses is like entering the special olympics, even if you get what you wanted, you’re still fucking spastic.
4. Jesus didn’t need to wear a designer cock cloth to come back to life, so what could you possibly need one for?
5. FACT: designer clothes are actually made to wear out quickly, because if you’re stupid enough to spend enough money for a used car on a new pair of jeans the first time round, you’ll definitely do it again!
6. Glasses that you can’t see through are not cool, you’ll believe me when Kanye West trips of stage and breaks his neck.
7. There is no definition of ‘designer clothing’ - categorically, ANY item of clothing cannot be made without being designed first.
8. Designer clothes are getting too conservative, bum hugging and tit squeezing clothing is the forward ladies.
9. Westwood wears designer clothes, do you really want to be like him?
10. Did you know that Armani jeans and Tesco jeans are manufactured in the same warehouse? hmmmmmmmm
11. Wearing designer clothes does not make you look good, having big tits does.
12. Designer clothing is not effective contraception, despite what your big sister may have told you.
13. Keeping the labels on is not cool
14. Designer clothes have lots of buttons at the moment, this is not good for those moments when you require ‘easy access’.
15. Combine designer jeans and cigarettes and you have the ultimate blood circulation stopping machine.
16. Havin manky feet for the sake of wearing fitting into those designer shoes you’ve fallen in love with - is not attractive.
17. Can you think of any other ?800+ product that you sweat all over and then chuck into a barrel full of water that spins?
18. Paris Hilton wears designer clothing. Nuff said.
19. How is a designer hoody different from any other cheap hoodie?
20. A breast augmentation is far more effective than a designer top.
21. Men only want to take women’s clothes off, so what in the name of fuck is the point of spending more than £10 on them?
22. Having your period is like lighting a match in a gas chamber.
23. Designer clothes go out of fashion quicker than a famous hooker with a crack habit.
24. Designer clothing is more expensive than smoking, and smoking tastes better.
25. How do you fit 4 gays on a designer barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Written by MrAngry on December 5th, 2007 with
3 comments.
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I-eat-children
#1. December 5th, 2007, at 9:59 PM.
Does ‘George’ count as a designer label?