10 Reasons why not to buy a woman a christmas present

I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I get seriously fed-up buying Christmas presents for the whores in my life at this time of year. Well this year I thought stuff-it, I’m not actually going to buy my slut a Christmas present.

Here are my top 10 tips for not buying your bint a Christmas gift, after all other than muff-central, what does your woman actually do?

1. She’s a whore and probably shagging someone else, tell her what you really think!
2. Her parents are poor, there’s no inheritance to be had so who cares if you turn up to Christmas dinner at her parents without a gift for her!
3. Your shagging her best mate and you spunked all your cash on lingerie for the ‘bit on the side’,  now is the time to be honest
4. Tell her your have converted to Islam and that you now think Christmas is for sinners!
5. Tell her you have become a Jehovah’s witness and that you wish her to read your latest copy of ‘The Watchtower’
6. Explain to her you are worried about the state of the planet and the raw material used for the Jewellery she usually receives for Christmas is stripping the planet of its natural resources
7. Tell her the facts, because she is so ugly the only present that would have done her any justice was cosmetic surgery and you simply could not afford it.
8. Tell her you lost all your credit cards and that ID fraud has raped your bank and credit card accounts
9. Tell her you lost your job
10. Tell her she’s immoral and not to be such a scrounging bitch! If she really believed in Christmas she’d go to Church every week and not just for a couple of weddings a year!

So there you go fellas, get out there and get the latest gadgets and stop wasting your hard-earned cash on the bint in your life who doesn’t bloody deserve gifts anyway.

Written by MrCrip on December 2nd, 2007 with 3 comments.

Want more? Read more General Rants rants on MrCrip.

Related Console Games and General Rants rants on MrCrip

• Talk Sport Presenter says Tax Bikes (October 6th, 2008)
• Nintendo Wii- Fun for all the family or Nintendo telling loyal fans to get lost? (October 1st, 2008)
• Beat Parking Tickets (September 29th, 2008)
• NSPCC a great charity, but a lost cause for children (September 26th, 2008)
• Free Spy Gadgets for wannabee James Bond’s (September 19th, 2008)